


There's Always Cats

by Venstar



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Cat Dads, Cats, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 06:50:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9709097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venstar/pseuds/Venstar
Summary: It used to be a lonely walk, but with the discovery of two little fluff balls, Q's valentine's day might not be spent alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Danger_Zone24](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danger_Zone24/gifts).



> thanks to 10kiaoi and cherrygoldlove for plot help...i didn't get to the cat vomit in the aston...but i did get to the start of cat dads.

###

After dragging himself off the train after a 14 hour day, it could have been longer, but Moneypenny threw him out of Q branch without a by-your-leave. Q hauled himself hand over hand, up the staircase using the railing and into the dreary evening that was dumping wind and rain everywhere. His bleary eyes became even harder to see through as the rain attached itself to his glasses and he closed his eyes against the onslaught.

Q flipped up the hood to his trusty spinach colored anorak, he didn’t care what anyone said about it, it was warm, it was comfortable and oh God, the pockets. The pockets that he could fit all sorts of the best bits of odds and ends. Tea bags, pens (that did NOT explode), plastic spoons, sticky notes, bandaids, flash drives and paracetamol tablets for the times the agents were literal pains in the arse.

He began the two block walk to his flat, thinking of the silence that was going to greet him when opened his front door. Like every night, he’d go home to a dark, cold apartment, perhaps a dust bunny might crawl out and greet him. Hopefully not, in his spare time, he did try to keep some sort of order in the dust bunny corral.

“One foot in front of the other, just one foot, you can do it. Just think of all the hot, yummy pizza you get to order when you get home. No one to share it with but hey, beggars can’t be choosers.” Q brought himself to a halt. He turned his head, there was a noise, something from the tiny alleyway up ahead. He reached into one of his many pockets and brought out his penlight and taser. He scooted forwards, took a breath and peeked around the corner. Nothing. He waited for a moment, best to make sure nothing was lurking, waiting for the silly, preoccupied Quartermaster to pass by. He heard the sound again.

_mewmewmewmewmew….mewmewmewmew...mewmewmewmewmew_

“Oh! Oh no!” Q tucked the taser away and rushed into the alleyway. He picked up the edge of a cardboard box, shined his penlight in and “Would you look at that. Oh babies. Oh. Oh where’s your mum?” Q’s light fell on two kittens, one with orange stripes and blue eyes, the other with a solid coat of black and tawny eyes. He flashed his light around, but saw no sign of the mother cat. “Well, we can’t just leave you here now can we? Your mom would mind if I took you, but she wouldn’t mind if you were cared for. Come on. Come on babies.” Q picked up the little bony wads of fur and put them in his coat pockets. “Daddy’s got you, I’ve got you.”

###

There seemed to be an odd energy surrounding the Quartermaster lately. Where he had been all sharp edges and brittle smiles, he was now a much more pleasant bastard to be around. The minions whispered guiltily amongst each other. They made bets, assumptions and wondered at the change to their boss’s mood.

“Is it sex?” Minion #2 asked.

“Why does it have to be sex?” Minion #4 whispered harshly.

Minion #2 just waved his arms in the direction of Q.

“That’s so stupid. It doesn’t always have to be about sex.” Minion #4 argued.

“Maybe he joined a gym?” Minion #5 added hesitantly.

“There, see, not sex.”

“Unless he’s getting some from a gym rat he met.” Minion #2 snarked back.

“Unbelieveable.” Minion #4 threw their hands into the air.

“SSSHhh, he’s coming!” Minion #5 hissed.

The gossiping minions bent their heads down to the prototypes they were supposed to be going over, except for Minion #5, he was too busy crying over the tray of broken, burnt and damaged beyond repair equipment that 007 had brought back.

“Not even a bullet.” Minion #5 whimpered. “What is this? Was this the radio or the walther?” He held up a thin scrap of metal.

Q joined their small group and surveyed their progress. He raised his ever present scrabble mug to his lips. The minions noticed the odd bandaging and scratches on his hand. Minion #2 frowned and tried to signal #4, but she ignored him.

“Evening, Q.” Minion #4 said, she gave him a smile and he returned it. She blinked, smiles from the Quartermaster were rare indeed.

“I like your pin,” Q said shyly.

Minion #2, #4 and #5 looked between the three of them, until #4 touched the cat shaped lapel pin on her cardigan. “Oh. Thanks, my sister gave it to me when I adopted Muzzy. My cat.”

“He can probably guess Muzzy is a cat.” Minion #2 hissed.

Minion #4 ignored her minion-mate, “I’ve had her for 5 years now.”

“Congratulation,” Q murmured. “Hmmm, I’m not sure whatever it was that 007 brought back can be repaired or resurrected. Best chalk it up to damaged beyond repair. Catalogue it for posterity and see what the scorch ratings are. We may need to re-structure that test.”

“Got it boss,” Minion #5 said, his demeanor changing for a more cheerful one as he wouldn’t be expected to breathe life back into the damaged equipment.

“And, if there’s nothing more pressing, R is taking over and I’m going home. I’ll see everyone in the morning.” Q said, he turned and gathered up his belongings before nearly running out of the door.

The minions looked around at each other at their boss’s willing abrupt departure. It was only an hour later that Moneypenny came in with a double oh agent, determined to kick Q out of his branch by words or force. The minions giggled at the disappointment on her face when she couldn’t find Q to manhandle.

 

###

Q stood at his workstation, directing 009 through his mission. He was weaving back and forth as he assisted the dour faced agent. 007 stood just behind him, observing, silently watching. When he wasn’t on mission, he could be found haunting Q-branch. “I like the toys and the minions.” He had once said. “They’re the only ones at MI6 who avoid me. It’s refreshing.”

Q ignored the distraction as he ignored every other distraction if it wasn’t something that needed his direct attention and right now, 009 was using up every ounce of spare attention.

“I’d like to get out of here some time today, Q.”

“Working on it 009, I’m merely the Quartermaster, NOT a miracle worker. Your evac is 5 minutes out.”

“If I could get another 100 yards under me, do you think that would shorten the pick up time?”

“Is your leg still broken?” Q asked.

“More or less.”

“Is it more broken than it was when you were screaming and begging for an evac or is it less than when you were crying for your Mother.”

“You’re a cold bastard Q.”

“Everyone has a hobby. 2 minutes.”

“What are you doing once you’re done with me?”

“Are you getting personal, 009?”

“Just passing the time.”

“45 seconds, you should be able to see them shortly.”

“Got plans? A date?”

“Why yes, 009, right after I’m done extracting your sorry arse from the jungles of Borneo, I’m going out. Going to live it up and dance the night away. It’ll be very exciting I’m sure.”

“I see the team. You SHOULD get out more Q. You’re too young, you’ll start to grow mold if you stay down there any longer.”

“What is it with the preoccupation of every agent and my age? Do I make you all feel so antiquated and redundant? If so, perhaps you need out more. Exchanged with evac team, Q out.”

With a click, Q ended his long day and conversation with 009. Hopefully the evac team would bounce him around on accident and jostle his leg. He hummed a soft tune as he began to gather his gear to go home. He was just tucking his laptop into his bag, when 007’s hand shot out of nowhere and took hold of his wrist. Q froze, unsure of what 007 meant. Was his wrist about to be broken? Q frowned up at 007 and saw that his gaze was directed to his hands. Bonds fingers from his other hand traced over the band-aids on the back of his hand. His blue eyes flicked over to Q’s other hand before raising up to look at Q.

“Your hands look a bit rough, Q.”

Q pulled his hands quickly away. “It’s fine 007, I caught a few scratches putting together one of the new cars.” He finished packing his laptop and left, he threw a small smile and wave over his shoulder and practically ran out of Q-branch. Moneypenny came in just after he left. She looked at Bond.

“Q?”

“Gone.”

“Really!? That’s the first time I haven’t had to drag his sorry carcass out of here before he fell down. Where did he go?”

Bond shrugged, “On a date, home, wherever it is that Quartermasters wander off to.”

“Hmm.” Moneypenny said, “Interesting. I’ll have to do a better job of spying, won’t I?”

“If you can.” Bond smiled down at her, “Hopefully it’s better than your shooting.”

“Arse.” Moneypenny said, laughing. She flicked him on the bicep with her pen. “Come on then, you can walk me out.”

“It would be my pleasure.”

After settling Moneypenny into a taxi, Bond found his own car and made the drive to the street where Q’s flat was housed. He waited and waited, until Q’s dark hair came rounding the corner. He was coming along at a pretty fast clip, a smile on his face and a little skip in his step as he approached the door to his building. He opened the door and his smile got even bigger. Bonds eyes narrowed at the sight.

###

The weather had turned nasty, which usually turned the Quartermaster nasty as well, but this time with the wet, humidity and fogged glasses, the Quartermaster remained a constant, an even keel. This unusual behavior had the minions 50% excited and 50% worried. They had tried talking to Moneypenny about it, but she didn’t know anymore than they did. They would catch her standing in the doorway, frowning and glaring even, at the strangely peppy...happy Quartermaster.

“Now, it HAS to be sex.” Minion #2 muttered as he walked behind Minion #4.

“It does not. He could be getting more exercise.” She hissed at him.

“Sexercise,” Minion #2 said, he fired two finger pistols at #4.

“God, you are so immature!” Minion #4 said, ducking the finger bullets.

“Minions?” Moneypenny’s amused voice caught their ears.

“Ah, yes, Miss Moneypenny,” Minion #4 said, straightening her skirt. “What can we help you with.” The minions turned and took a step back. It wasn’t just Miss Moneypenny alone, she had 007 with her. The minions made small twitching movements as they reached for the prototypes lying around their workstations.

“Nothing, just checking in on the office gossip. Aren’t we 007?”

The minions remained quiet and wide eyed, like rabbits in front of the fox. 007 looked bored and lethal, not interested at all in the office gossip.

“Is everything all ship shape in Q-branch.” Moneypenny asked into the silence.

“Yes, Miss Moneypenny.” The minions replied.

“Nothing out of the ordinary?”

“No Miss Moneypenny.”

007 shifted and moved closer to #4’s workstation. She moved closer as well, the better to try and keep her job by keeping 007’s sticky fingers away from the prototypes.

“Has Q been acting strange to you?” Moneypenny asked,

The minions glanced at each other, before #4 spoke up for them, “No, Miss Moneypenny. He’s as efficient and brilliant as ever.” #4 blushed as Moneypenny looked her up and down, a soft smirk to her lips. 007 poked at a row of wrist watches lying open on #5’s station. Bond smiled as #5 put a forefinger on the velvet of the case and slowly dragged it closer to him and away from 007’s curious poking.

“Efficient and brilliant is our Q. From the mouth of minions.” Moneypenny said. She looked over the maps the minions were poring over.

“Ah, Moneypenny.” Q said from behind her slim figure. “Come to kick me out of my own branch with the brute strength of 007?”

Moneypenny turned and raised one elegant eyebrow. “Why, Q, all dressed up and somewhere to go.” She laughed as he turned red.

“I’m just going home Moneypants. Nowhere special.”

“Well, I didn’t just bring 007 to toss you out on your fanny, we hoped you’d go out a bit with us, have a drink, get out a little.”

“Oh. Er, thank you. That’s unexpected. It’s kind really. But it is unexpected and I have plans for tonight.”

“Plans. You made plans.” Moneypenny asked. “Well, now I have to hear this.”

“Yes, quite involved and intricate plans. Top secret plans between me, a Dr. Who marathon and a hot pizza. I’ve been dying for one all day.”

“Hmmm,” Moneypenny said. “Sounds lovely. Can we come?”

At Q’s shocked look, Bond finally said something, he murmured to Moneypenny, “Surely my skills aren’t needed to bully your way into the Quartermaster’s company, much less his home. I thought I was here to act as an escort and direct him to one of the company’s cars, if needed. And since it looks like I’m not needed, I think my job here is done.” Bond nodded to the minions and Q. “Good evening all, Quartermaster.” He was gone, like a drifting, curious shadow.

Q turned to leave, but not before he spun around and walking backwards, stuck his tongue out at her, “No you can’t come over and play. Meanie.”

###

The weather had cracked the skies and a heavy pouring of cats and dogs was raging outside, heavy and miserable. Not one to wear a raincoat, Bond merely had a smart winter coat and an umbrella in his pocket. He smiled at his own joke. Something was up with the Quartermaster, Bond knew it, in his bones and his bones never lied. He left early and tailed Q. He had noticed the bandages, though fewer were still gracing the graceful hands of the Quartermaster. He tailed Q to the tube station and onto the train. The Quartermaster was smart enough to keep his back to the walls, but he would get distracted by his technology, becoming lost to the world around him, a small smile on his face.

It was this small smile that intrigued the agent. Something was playing on Q’s phone and it was this that Q was smiling at. A video of some sort, he couldn’t be sure without getting too close to blow his cover. After a short while, Q tucked his mobile away and sat back, his eyes closing as he rested against the windows. The train finally pulled into Q’s stop. Q opened his eyes and unfolded himself from his seat, his smile gone and the weariness of his branch descended up on his face. His shoulders were hunched as he walked up and out of the station, he was immediately soaked as he exited the station. Q pulled his hood up and jammed his hands in his pockets and began the two block walk.

It took Q too long to realize that the rain had stopped falling completely on him and that someone was walking very close to him. When he jerked away from the other person, it was to stumble and be helped by a very solicitous hand under his elbow.

“Easy there, Q.”

Q squinted up, “007?” He asked and yes, there in the dim glow of the street lamp, was the short cropped blond hair, the wide shoulders and steady presence of 007. “What on earth are you doing out here? Am I needed back at-” He stopped as 007 shook his head.

“No, call it a precaution and it looks like you forgot your umbrella.”

“My umbrella? I don’t have one.”

“Ah, well then, allow me the use of mine to provide cover. Come along, Q, before you catch cold.”

“Since when did you turn into a mother hen?”

“Since boffins went out wandering in a hurricane without the sense to pack an umbrella.”

“A hurricane. Please, it’s just a good winter storm.” Q grumbled, but he was glad for 007’s presence at his side. They bumped shoulders awkwardly as Q tried to stay under the umbrella, he kept glancing up at Bond, thinking anytime soon the man would get annoyed with him for being clumsy. Instead, his eyes widened in shock as Bonds solution to the awkwardness was for more awkwardness...he shifted the umbrella to his other hand and tucked Q under his free arm. With nothing to say about it and not wanting to appear more awkward, Q stayed in his little warm Bond zone, until they got to the entrance of his flat. “Well, this is me.”

“I know,” Bond said, giving Q a playful squeeze.

Q fumbled with his keys until he had the door open. He glanced up at the sky, “I was going to do as I told Moneypenny. Watch a Dr. Who marathon and order pizza. You’re welcome to join me.”

Bond was surprised, he hadn’t expected the invite and had been trying to figure out how to convince Q to let him up.

Q saw the surprise, brief as it was. “Or not, I know it’s not a 5 star restaurant or classy pub, but it’s home.”

“I would be delighted.” Bond said, surprising Q. He followed his now quiet and shocked Quartermaster up the flights of stairs until they got to his door.

“I should warn you…” Q began as he put the key to his lock.

“Will I need my gun?”

“What? Oh no, no, nothing like that. You’re armed!?” Q asked alarmed.

“Always.”

Q huffed a laugh, “Well, don’t shoot whatever moves inside.”

Curious, Bond waited with bated breath as Q pushed open the door to his flat and turned the light on.

_Mewmewmewmewmew…..mew….mewmewmewmew…._

“Hello, hello boys, hello hello.” Q said, greeting the kittens. They wound themselves around Q and jumped at his cuffs. “I have cats, er kittens actually. I’ve only just acquired them recently.” He bent down to pick up the little fluff balls. Bond was still standing in the hallway and they were both dripping. “Where are my manners. Here,” Q put the kittens down and moved to take off his coat and bag so he could help Bond with his. He reached a hand out to take his coat and umbrella to hang near the door. When he turned around, there was no Bond. “007? Bond?”

“In here.”

Q followed his voice and stopped in his tracks. His mouth dropped open and went a little dry. Bond was sitting on the sofa, the two kittens tumbling about in his lap. “Your suit.”

“I’ve had worse.” Bond smiled. “Come on then, introduce me, we’ve gone past agent numbers though.”

“Hmmm. James. Meet Grommet, he’s the ginger kitten and Turpentine, the all black one.”

“It all makes sense now.”

“What does?”

“Your behavior the past few weeks.”

“My behavior?”

“Yes, leaving early, the band-aids and happiness. I wondered at the cause.”

Q stared with more than some surprise on his face. “Have I been that much of a monster.”

James laughed and rose from the sofa, the kittens in his hands. “Yes, but I like you monster like.” He pressed a kiss to Q’s cheek in passing. “Happy Valentine’s day Q.”

“Uh…”

“You do know what day it is, don’t you?”

Q’s brows furrowed for a moment before he gasped out, “I forgot! But I didn’t mean that...we’re not…”

James laughed, “Only if you wish. I’ll order the pizza,” He passed the kittens to Q, “You feed the little monsters.”


End file.
